We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
