Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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