you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
