Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
