they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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