This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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