Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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