Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
