I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
