So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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