The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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