what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
