well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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