No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
