just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
