bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
