Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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