I hope mine doesn't look like that
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
