So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
