no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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