I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize