I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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