Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
