Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
