finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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