and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
