Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
