Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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