did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
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I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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