I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize