I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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