sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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