is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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