never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize