My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
