you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
