it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
