i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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