My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
