WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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