Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
