guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He shit in the fireplace
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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