It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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