ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
