"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
