My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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