I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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