My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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