We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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