nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
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