can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize