How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
