Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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