Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
