He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
