Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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