we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
